Computer scarcity greatly diminishes the fun of this blogging venture. I’ve been lazy lo these past months and am now digging my commitment out of the trash. If I must handwrite then transfer to various keyboards, so be it. In addition, a quickie category alieviates both guilt for not constructing and entry carefully, or (obviously the go-to choice of late) for writing nothing–zip.
Some recovery issues in brief:
Wading through the wreckage of one’s past feels like trying to move in mud. It’s heavy, and it sticks. You think you’ve cleaned it up, but you scratch a spot that leads to a vein of yet more mud. Details later.
Alanon has become my roadmap for dealing with others and hence, resentments. “Let it begin w/ me” and “Detach with love (respect and acceptance)” have kept me in my own lane facing forward more effectively than any practice I remember. Details later.
My Higher Power has revealed a gentle oneness. Non-judgmental and ever-supportive–Qualities I have not honed but wish to grow into. It started with a visual hanging in the hallway of a respected friend and echoed previously read details of profound psychic transformations, stories of quantum changes I’d read in the past. Transcendentalism then was a thing buried under labrynthian layers of illusion. Now I almost feel the pull of a truth surfacing. Up on the mountain in the hallway, the round image read: The idea of God is like a circle where the center is everywhere and the circumference nowhere. That feels right. Details later.
Life has gone on–organized a grant for a friend, took a big test, learned a few artistic techniques, juggled bills, got part-time employment, accepted a few opportunities to not to take other people’s actions personally, took great pleasure in a peaceful Christmas. The bottom line is to keep moving, even when to do so is to be still. Details later.
This quickie is nothing that shatters the morning air, unless I give me credit for getting back to my goal and taking the first step. I have and I do. –Or, as Dante elevates the sentiment to inspiration: Begin then, and declare to what thy soul/ Is aimed, and count it for a certainty,/ Sight is in thee bewildered and not dead.
See? Gentle. Supportive. Non-judgemental